Slower...

I am now fifty-six years-old. This is sobering as I still believe that I'm twenty-five. So what have I lost? Some physical flixibility, two wives to divorce, all of my black hair (replaced with cool gray - not the cueball!), some of my libido, some of my energy, some of my ability to focus and concentrate.
What I have gained is slowness. I walk slower so I can see more; I talk less quickly so I am more apt to be a better listner, i work out more slowly so I work out efficiently, i write slower so i need to edit less, i work slower so i get to transfer more qi to my patients, i dance slower so i get to spend more physical time being close to my woman feeling her heat and smelling her perfume, i read slower, so i acquire more info; i watch which is different form 'seeing'; seeing is passive, watching is active. i watch myself mostly to see that i am happy with my moves off and on the court, to be certain that i walk in all valleys and on all hills with integrity - sometimes i don't but then i can see it because i was watching and by watching i may do better next time. i have closer friends becasue as time is short i only spend time with those i love. i spend more time with male friends because those were the ones with whom i shared the least intimacy. my arms remain open longer and close more slowly so my heart is receiving more. i sit longer so therefore i am being more instead of doing more and by doing less i am more and therefore this is proof that indeed less is more.
So im thinking - youth does and age is - but one cannot be until one has done so youth and aging are all perfectly natural inhalations and exhalations of the dao. i am happy to have been able to do and to be able to do less and be more and therefore be more and thus be able to do more. Hah! Amazing.

Being...